! ☎ ✏ ✈

one week to jnr champs.
one month to judgement day.
three months to nats.

time flies- especially away from me.

anyways, todays maths test was ok. but i killed 1omarks for nothing. damn.

still not gonna brood over it. its already over and im setting my sights on midyears :D

next up is adventure camp. why oh why must they send us to so ulu-ated place to get dirty and smelly and totally unhygenic? tell me, tell me why??

how can i survive 3days without seeing or talking to you-

i dont like camps. well, at least im in the same group as xinyue :D got someone to lame with me..


jnr champs is next weekend. 2oom. timing? hoping to be even faster then sph relays- heheh.

looking forward to the fast & furious competition of track :D

oh, i just realised wk is excellent at washing plates and all that sorta stuff (and i suck at them)

can i hire him as my maid next time? LOL


maybe,

you're better off without me bothering and troubling you anymore.

im sorry


and so comes the end of my first 4x2oo relay.

my (unofficial) timing was very surprising but i felt that i could have done much better. well, anyways i still have national junior champs to prove myself-

to the peeps running tomorrow, jiayoux ! just go out there and do your best, no regrets whatsoever (: the great one will be there cheering you guys on so no excuse to shed tears after the race ks !

hmm think i got sunburnt too.. can see my jersey outline ! LOL !! ack, im losing my voice after all that cheering too x(

argh im so sleepy but my hairs still wet so i cant sleep.

the sleepiness!

i dont know what to do; i dont think apologising will help.
so what should i do to make you talk to me again-


in 16.5 hrs i will be in gombak, at the starting line of the sph 4x2oom relay along with fann, peishi and sixuan.

im getting caterpillars in my stomach just thinking about it.

hmm talking about sph i bloody forgot to buy wrapping paper to wrap aaron and weishengs presents. crap. i have the shortest memory span of anyone i know.

well, chem test went quite well. despite the fact i slept yesterday and didnt study for it until freeperiod this morning. i am the pia-ing pro. hear me roar.

weekend is packed with competitions, muggings and homework. next week is totally eaten up by tests.

midyears are a bore. they packed everything into one week so its like an average of 2 papers per day. bloody shit. well, at least moi get one day off (physics & lit papers day).

bloody shit, i swear im gonna fail my a maths test on friday. have a hist paper before that day thats after bio (at 345) and after THAT i have training.

maths and i have never been fated to be loving good pals. EVER.

TRACKMATES !! for those running both tomorrow and tomorrow tomorrow, JIAYOUX ! we're all just gonna go out there and run our best ! dont care about the results- medals aint important. crossers; u guys just do it too ! run your best ! we're all THE GREAT ONE is behind you carrots !

thinking of you and how guilty i was for feeling that way. im sorry- will you still come and see me ?

(did i mention the new jersey colour sucks? it looks like this. even sir thinks so and he was the pioneer wearer of the original jersey- so his view counts yar? LOL)

i still have my pride and my discipline;


4x2oo for sph relay.
2oo for nats jnr champs.

im already hyperventilating.

whee-


hmm i totally forgot what we did in school today. maybe cos it was so boring..

(after 1o mins)

oh yar, history was a laugher (as always :) chi was a killer and pdp was a total waste of time. seriously, a crossword puzzle?! i nearly died from laughing by the weird answere me and caibei wrote (eg. rollerblading, active people, etc.)

assembly was kinda ok. at least ms teo was a little funny when it came to the presentation. and i saw myself being all enthu in the crosscountry slide. im like the only one being enthu-

wheres the spirit people?? LOL.

mrs chan read out some unacceptable dedication cards. one of it was addressed to carrots and suddenly this persons laughter cuts through the silence of the hall. i swear it was emily. and god it was loud. bloody funny xD

maths was utterly lame and cold xD we all went to specialroom2 and the guys were wimps who couldnt stand the cold. even ms yew called them noobs (:

theres a chem test on friday and i havent even touched the damn notes;
joy, theres a bio, hist and maths test next week.

my life is so positively and joyfully crammed with tests and exams.

sph relay this sat (4by2) hoping can miss the cookout day. i refuse to sit in the sun just to cook raw ingredients with either primitive gas or solid fuel. it'll turn out burnt anyways-

and my chi compo is staring at me- blank.

oh tmr looks like a horribly long and frustrating day;


Shizukana Yoru Ni [ In This Quiet Night ]
Gundam Seed Destiny
English Translation

In this quiet night, I'm waiting for you
During that time, your smile has faded away
Now that a little time has passed,
Fond memories start to resurface.

At the place where stars fall,
I'm always wishing for your laughter.
Even though we're apart now
We can meet again, right?

Since it was shattered by one mistake
My smile has faded so much
Go beyond the sky with fortitude
And turn the precious things into light.

To the place where stars fall,
I want my thoughts to reach you.
I am always by your side
Since I will embrace that coldness.
Even though we're apart now,
We will definitely be back together.

In the quiet night...


protect;

1. To keep from being damaged, attacked, stolen, or injured; guard.
2. To help (domestic industry) with tariffs or quotas on imported goods.
3. To assure payment of (drafts or notes, for example) by setting aside funds.

one word, with so many meanings.
it can be the beginning-
if you really mean to do what you ought.
but it can also be the ending-
if you left the person there to rot.

will you leave me there, scarred and helpless;
or save me and protect me from my own horrors ?

boku ni mamoru.. sorewa anata tou watashi no yakusoku-


saturday came and went.

and the disappointment is all coming back again.

before you know it, school's already round the corner-

logarithms can kiss my ass while i fart them away.

i'm waking up into the nightmare once again. the dream was fun while it lasted; but reality's coming back and crashing down all over me.

take me away


and so wings flew by (yar im still on the lame joke)

was quite the standard run. we trackers as timekeepers again (: this time we had jingjie to take with us cos he sprained his ankle ! shock horror.. hope he recovers soon..

its so exciting seeing the unknown sec1 coming in to the finish line and some things they do. like look at us just before they finish. man i know we're chio bus and all but sprint finish then look can ! :D

anyways, good job guys & gals ! ran a spectacular race today ! though we didnt manage to get anything but hell, you all were FABULOUS ! yar i bet the top3 were like shivering and wondering if next time the results will be the same man !

and i bet it wont be :D

run hard- train hard- race hard and be hard to beat.

oh man im shuddering at the thought of tomorrows training. he wants us to be there at 730 !?
bloody early can..


oh man.. a sleepless night. now my eyes are seriously dry and puffy. hope the puffiness goes away if not i cant see the race properly xD

HEY CROSSERS ! JIAYOUX FOR YOUR WINGS RACE ! MUST FLY !

wings.. fly..

yesterdays training wasnt that bad. we started off with the usual warmup then jumping power. later we had to do the hurdles jump and some coach came and told us that we kept stepping on the white part of the hurdle. so we had to jump the proper hurdle. i only managed to clear one..

and my little jnr falls ! he hurt himself on the head. man hope hes ok ):

pandian, seeing that we're all mentally wounded from that blow, told us to do just the small yellow hurdles. i think their cute.

next we had baton acceleration and.. 4x1oo (times two) as in the FULL thing. i nearly dropped dead when he said that.

but still i ran. first runner for both times. both times i lost to shirlyn. its ok at least i have a motivation now :D

still i feel motivation abit hard to come by now..

after training was a frigging disaster. i dont know what happened to me - think i just couldnt hold it back anymore. mondo thanks to peishi, jade and xiumin for being there and being my counsellors :D dont know what i would have done without you gals !

but the name JP counsellors is just lame xp

bloody shit i hate my phones alarm tone- its the only thing that'll wake me up.


bugger !

i just proved a fact i already know.

crying bitterly in the middle of the night will cause you to have horribly puffy eyes the next morning.

now my eyes can only remain half-open. whee -

bloody shit ignore my previous post. i was pms-ing.

i've already gotten over it. i think i shall return to being psychotic :D

its much easier.

im gonna have maths remedial in 1.5 hrs n aft tt trg. aint my day so fabulously packed?

i hope we do baton again !

me and my pink baton (:

becauseof you; and now i cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing-
behind these hazeleyes; now all thats left of me is what i pretend to be. so together but so broken up inside-

do you hear me crying ?
sometimes i think not.


sigh

everyday passes with me being neglected at some pt in time. hw is but an excuse to keep me occupied when everyone else is having fun. am i that miserable?

yes.

my social life was small to begin with. now that i compare it with yours, my god i can barely see it. now i know why i always over-react to some matters that concern your social life (does friday ring a bell?).

im always left alone- i dont like it but if god insists on making me a loser i cant help it.

everyones got their own circle. mine is disappearing as time passes.

its partially my fault- i dont let anyone in anymore. but then its e circumstances of things n i cant bear to.

its terrible to keep everything bottled up; i know.

but i dont have any other choice. not anymore.

now, everyday is but a reminder of this fact that i already know;

im still trying to find a cure for myself.


i hate it when ppl dont tell me anything.
i hate it even more when they dont tell me anything n jus run off -

e walkathon ytd was overall ok but mostly boring. i was left alone 9/10 of e time..

i dont know why - do ppl hate me so much ? maybe i jus dont work well in big crowds.

whatever e reason; i didnt have fun at e carnival. all i could do was my hw (wtf??). utterly productive of me no?

went to suntec- e IT fair turned into an ugly affair. some goddamn idiots r jus so selfish. n e morons r blind n biased.

sometimes e world jus pisses me off for being so unfair n unreasonable -

only one thing left;


man i was so bloody tired frm ytds crosscountry tt i didnt come online to blog abt my experience. but by now all u noobs noe wat happened so i shall not waste html space.

to my little jnr (if u ever read my blog) : dont be so upset. ur timing already damn good can ! try harder n jiayoux for e next race ! rmb: 1% inspiration + 99% perspiration = success ! (:

oops i think i stole tt frm jade.. hmm..

hols are coming.. so far e hol schedule looks acceptable. i soooo pity jade. lets all have a minute of silence -
nvm 3secs is good enough.

dont judge me. its jus unfair;

& i may not understand - but if u dont even tell me; i dont even need to try.


i was being a bitch ytd n i sincerly apologise.

thnks for e encouragement ppl ! sry i wasnt responsive ytd..

jus me n my mood swings.

again;

im sorry.


its easy to say all those nice n encouraging stuff when u ran so well.


cos theres nth to hold u down.


u may be a little disappointed; but u noe theres still someone behind u.


but wat abt tt person- e one who hasnt got anyone behind to find 'comfort' in.


its easy to say such things when ur not e last -


i noe its natural. but i noe something else.


whatever u say doesnt really help anymore.


its not ur fault. its jus me.


fall down 7times? i can only get up for 6.


cos on e last one everyones already so far ahead tt i dont have e motivation to get up anymore -


bitterly disappointed -


thats all i have to say.


pushed back down &stop trying to comfort me; it only makes me more miserable.


i dont like yongqiang. cos his commontest results are good. not very good. jus good.


but good is already damn pro for this round of ct.


everywhere i go ppl are talking abt failing or not getting gd marks or not meeting targets.
yar im one of them.


all i gotta say is this: be more open abt it. mop for a day or two; den pick urself up n study harder. theres still midyears. so dont get so discouraged.


well maybe i shld follow my own advice :D


i've worked so hard. trained e best that i could. aft 3 years it finally looked like i could have some results.


i thought i stood a chance. maybe a slim one; but still a chance. and that word jus killed all my hope.


timetrial.


using 3oo? no way in hell.


i wasnt even thinking abt an individual event. now they shot my hopes of being in e team to shit.


not with e others ard. e others; who've always been better den me.


do i still stand a chance?


to think i was so naive - hoping that i had a chance.


well;


not anymore.


& u wont understand -





my 9oth post (:


in light of recents news i shall state this: my blog does not offend. or at least it is not meant to offend. maybe occasionally - but i shall cont blogging for e sake of killing time. happy?


lets all take this opportunity to mourn for fannfanns blog - aft tt i'll go whack her ass for making it pass on.


i cried for my bio. but i still wont get tt 1 more mark. nxt time mus really pia n get 8o+ or i'll jump off e sch building.


yes bio is that important to me. its a1 or nth.


call me hao4lian4 - say im a bitch. tts jus e way i am n tts jus e way i treat bio.


got e sch mag today. zhenjies on e front cover ! so is jojo ! zhenjie running his 8oom (e golden run) is absolutely dao x) jojo is totally cute in green facepaint !


they have me in e 'our pupils' page. i was so enthu abt e sch crosscountry..


some trivia abt e sch mag:
weisheng looks noob in e pic. yonghao doesnt smile ): track guys are an unhappy bunch.
liew to kiew ? huh !?
i look spastic in e only 2 pics i appear in.
jade looks sooo cute ! (same pic as me)
athletics getting quite abit of photo time eh :D


allcomers meet this sunday. all of us taking part in 3oom. im gonna be e last -
but im still gonna be optimistic abt it (: n run my very best.
I'LL WHACK JADE NGS PATHETIC ASS TO PLUTO IF SHE DOESNT GO THIS SUNDAY.
I'LL WHACK ANY TRACKERS ASS OF THEY DONT GO THIS SUNDAY.
you have been warned


i dont care if i come in last or even break e record for being e slowest runner ever -
i'll still run.
so u shld too.