! ☎ ✏ ✈

note to self: always keep teddy bear within arms length.

note to self: do not talk to people who put their status on msn as "away".

note to self: mr bean is a fictional mascot of mr bean's soybean shops.

note to self: mr bean is a guy in a soybean suit.

note to self: i waste more paper printing out maths papers than doodling for a day.

note to self: the school is too stingy to print maths papers for us.

note to self: printer ink is not limitless.

note to self: kira is not a real person, no matter how hot he is.

note to self: there are many ways of interpreting GTFO!

note to self: find more ways to interact with others.

note to self: forget above point.

note to self: staying awake from 2am only causes me to get scolded for dozing.

note to self: find a solution to tea-addiction problem.

note to self: i cannot fly.

note to self: sleeping is good for you.

note to self: i dont suffer from insanity, i enjoy every mniute of it.

note to self: get a reality check. fast.

note to self: jade sprained her back.

note to self: hope moomoo recovers soon.

note to self: fairytale endings dont exist.

note to self: sneeze even more loudly.

note to self: i dance like ahmeng doing the chacha.

note to self: stop making him angry.

note to self: my life ran away. ask someone to help me find it.

note to self: i found it on the sidewalk.


ct papers all given out, except social studies but somebody told me i got a single digit.

sigh.

my results have not improved. not greatly anyway, and this time some of my subjects have even gone down by a grade. okay so maybe b3 to b4 not that big a deal but c6 to d7 is.

my l1r5 has been increasing every major test and exam. is this a sign that im not focused on my studies?

aside from my pathetics ss, i also failed amaths this time.

is what my friends are saying true? i dont have the time or attention to truly get good grades anymore. i dont want to think this way but of course, i was never good at facing reality.

i promised someone i would get below ten for eoy. not only do i want it so that i can keep my promise but also because it shows that im okay and nothing's wrong.

judging from my current grades, i find it hard. very hard.

can i really do it? have so much to worry about, especially my maths and ss. hell, i worry about all my subjects.

im just plain scared. i've never been good at meeting expectations.

the bar has gone up, can i jump over it?


nightmares cm's gonna have nightmares about after saturday:

- giant fugly zombies with oil barrels and huge saws coming after me

*too much house of dead*

- getting crashed in a racecar by a red and a green car (belonging to peishi and wk) while a yellow car tries desperately to save my little blue car (belongs to jade:)

*too much daytona and the ONLY reason peishi can crash me is cos she swerves around the entire road when she drives* (tell me again how she's gonna pass her driving test when she grows up?)

- going to the library with wk.

*correction. going anywhere with wk*

- getting shot erm.. somewhere very, very painful.

*watching wk shoot people in time crisis and watching peishi shoot zombies in HOD -shudders-*

- vampires.

*DON'T EVEN ASK*

- monkeys that steal water bottles.

i want my lifesize teddy bear to hug at night ):

don't touch. i bite.


hm the time now is 12:34 :D

erm nothing much happened today. went to school real early to run cos i was late for trg yesterday and missed the workouts. the school was so dark i was kinda scared to run all alone xD

later jade and yonghao joined me. jade saw me running then she miss me so come and run with me (: she's too eager to run with me, cant even wait until trg tmr.

got back some test papers today. erm the good balances out the bad but still sad about the bad.

failed a maths, got a2 for geog and b4 for chem. i brooded the entire one hour after that cos of my a maths.

oh i saved wanyi's life today! he was standing damn close to the edge of the pavement and when i saw 97 bus coming, my mind went: OMG! he's gonna get hit!

abit stupid la but i quickly went "EHHH!" in the next split second, he tilted his head to look at me AND saved him from getting hit full on the head by the bus sidemirror. it actually brushed his head abit but hey, i still saved him from getting a concussion :D woot! i've done a real good deed today!

wonder if can go je tmr after trg. i wanna go kill zombies in house of the dead.

DIE EVIL THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh and today ms tan apologised to me for waking me up from my nap during eng. stunned.


[Ocean Avenue- Yellowcard]

There's a place off Ocean Avenue
Where I used to sit and talk with you
We were both 16 and it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night
Staying up all night

There's a place on the corner of Cherry Street
We would walk on the beach in our bare feet
We were both 18 and it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night
Staying up all night

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away

There's a piece of you that's here with me
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by
I can make believe that you're here tonight
That you're here tonight

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away

I remember the look in your eyes
When I told you that this was goodbye
You were begging me not tonight
Not here, not now
We're looking up at the same night sky
And keep pretending the sun will not rise
Be together for one more night
Somewhere, somehow

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away


THE WORLD SHALL BOW DOWN AND HAIL ORANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what can i say? i love carrots to death :D

oh and im high on moronicness.

got back 2 ct results. bio a1 ! woot! so glad i managed to crap my way through. chi b3 ! improvement! maybe hanging around wk does have some benefits. hope my zuo wen doesnt pull it down.

so maybe there's still some hope for my l1r5?

#

today we had folkdance for pe. it was quite fun cos me and guochao keep doing the wrong steps. ok fine, it was me who kept dancing wrongly xD i suck at dancing. really. i look like ahmeng doing the cha cha.

the financial game we played for pdp was soo cool! this week we can play with stocks. i kept causing the market to crash. ok lesson learnt: cm should never EVER play with stocks when she grows up. she'll just cause even more damage to singapore's economy.

damn i still havent broken the $1oo,ooo barrier and i couldnt upgrade my job to businessman (wages: $12,ooo!!!!!!!! the most in the bloody game!!!!) cos i didnt have enough money to upgrade. ARGHHHH!!

maybe i should just leave all the financial plans and accounting to my husband next time..

ya good idea, if not i'll just cause the market to crash again. i made it crash twice?? and yangzhi lost all his stocks xD woot!

NO SHEARS BRIDGE RUN!?
the unfairness of it all.

oreo, oreo, oreo. woot! an oreo mcflurry is suddenly my most fav thing in the world :D


REALRUN;

my first 5.5km run this year. wasn't as nervous as i thought i would be.

seriously, was i even thinking?

for this race, it was the first time i expected so much from myself. and yet in the end, i still failed.

i sorta get how minzhang felt at nats.

i don't know what to say, i don't know what to feel, i don't know what to do.

i feel numb after what i did at the collection booth.

the only good thing was i rmb i was real fast at the sand part and that i saw my little didi cheering me on with lirui and guanloong at the finish line.

i practically flew the last stretch cos of them. so thanks?

but the scene at the finishing line was the part that tore me up.

at the collection booth, thanks to karen, jo, peishi and leena for cheering me up. or tried. even emi and jan said not to be so sad.

but there's still a sour and empty feeling in my heart. was it that i overestimated myself? maybe i didn't train hard enough? can someone tell me that i was just too moronic to set that kind of expectations?

yeowlin,
i'm sorry but i don't know what to say to anyone right now.


i've mentioned so many people for thanks, and yet one name still hasn't come up. why?

you're too busy caring abt others to see my heart close up again..


SHOCK! HORROR! STUNNNNNNN!

im falling head over heels for __ again!?!?

ARGHHHH!

now all i can think about is that-that picture! and pose! DAMN!

what is the world coming to..

my heart is doing flip flops all around. oops gotta go clean up the drool from my chem ws!


announcement: aaron finally talked to me over msn and it didnt just involve 'ok' or 'ya' (:

anyway, to all trackers who read this (besides peesh), please be informed that we're having GAMES as trg from now on :D yep, games. as in baseball, bball, etc. cos its our off season. guess will last until on-season which is next january. crossers ENVY US SO *evil grin*

tmr is CHEM ct! erm does excited count as an emotion? LOL i mean excited over ct? im a psycho right?

right.

fastest study session ever. abt 2h? hm later must go and revise mole again. as in mole concept, not those fugly brownblack things on your butt. im beginning to like identification of ions cos of all the pretty colours :D

f-! who the shit just sprayed a heap of cologne?!
ARGHHHH IT BURNSSS MY HAIR-COVERED NOSTRILS!!!!!!


nocturnal-ness rears its ugly head.

gim is gonna be furious.

commontest has just started and already i have 2 subjects that are 'prospect to failing'.

god help me.

seems like the only good things i can do now are writing kiraxstellar fics and eating banana choc chip muffins.

only have myslf to blame.


amanda just wasted half of the ink in my printer. SHE OWES ME BIG TIME!

theres nothing much to say about commontest i guess. the usual complaints of "oh damn -toot- im gonna fail" and "ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!" ya something along that line?

selftrained today. and yes i suck.

made asst treasurer of the carrots bunch. i can be loanshark again :D emily is my new boss!

chem rememdial tmr so i cant go for coach's endurance trg at macritchie ): sucks. gotta go selftrain with peesh again.

i think my head changed shape after being abused.

ok amanda owes me about 2odollars worth of ink for my printer.

err i just realised how random ive been.


shit. im high on gundam seed destiny :D

KIRA IS MINE I TELL YOU!!!!!! ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH *chokes* HAHAHAHHAAHAHHA!

big robots with laser swords mean big business.


national day celebrations (:

started off the day at 2am. woke up to bathe then stayed up till i had to go to school.

i swear im turning nocturnal again.

dont know why but im really starting to fail socially again.


the concert wasnt that bad, with sixuan being mc! hehe but the skits were a little dry for my tastes. damn the coffin scared the hell out of me.

im gonna have nightmares about it tonight.

the souvenior that the school gave out was damn cool! national day give out carrot-coloured towels LOL :D i was so happy when i got my orange one! gonna bring it to trg from now on :3


after the celebrations went to plaza sing with caibei and xintong. we were going to catch tokyo drift with wk stanley guochao ___ hocksing and dixon. the movie was ok but i think the racing scenes could have been better. thats the prob when you watch too much need for speed and proj gotham racing games.

burning rubber drifting where speed meets style.

lemons are sour and can make you cry.
just like love when it says goodbye.


lost track of how long i haven't been here.

things are starting to get hectic. training, homework, new responsibilities, etc etc.

oh yes, i'm starting to fail socially again.

peesh says i look like i have autism because i keep burying myself in my black book.

i think she's right.

oh and hope we can do a much better timing on the 3km route at macritchie. if not mojo jojo will send her monkeys after us. ahhhhhhh!! flaming monkey butts!

everything is falling into place.
then why do i still feel so empty?