! ☎ ✏ ✈

"Why do you always think so far ahead? Don't you enjoy the present? The future isn't even here yet..."

That's who I am.

"Are you... crying?"

Yes.

"Please tell me what's wrong..."

Don't let go.

"Are you afraid?"

Yes, afraid that you'll leave...

"Don't cry..."

How can I?

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

Are you, really?

"Don't you believe me?"

I want to, but those images, those words are burned inside my heart...

"Don't..."

Leave.

Oh, how alone under the starry night
Dreaming of angels that will soon fall from grace.
The warmth I once held so dearly
Seems to be slowly slipping away, together with the chilling wind.

Oh, let the rain fall
Let the thunder roar.
In the midst of underlying chaos
Let me remember who I once was.

Silence comes and all I pray for
Is strength to believe, once more.

2more days. my only wish, to have the strength to hold on and never let him go;

*

that was the emo post i was supposed to update 3days ago. unfortunately, my literature and linguistic skills were so pro, blogger ate it and didnt allow me to update.

here's today's less emo but still worthy of woodbridge post :)

picture the scene:

you're in your dad's car with your mum singing a song just a little pop for her age and you're in the back seat, tapping your foot impaitiently, mentally urging your dad to go faster and take over that neon green volkwagen beetle in the other lane.

why the rush?

you're late for training.

suddenly, your phone rings (ringtone: reason from gundam seed destiny. ok fine, that's MY ringtone) and some high-pitched voice with water gushing in the background says "hello?!"

oh god its your training obsessed enthu friend checking whether you've drowned on your way to macritchie reservoir. you expect her to say something along the line of "its 8:o1, where the F are you?!" and training was supposed to start at 8.

instead she says:

"what's the biggest species of lizard in singapore?"

that's what happened to me this morning. minus the neon green volkswagen beetle. the entire team saw daniel II (the monitor lizard living in macritchie who loves to swim) cos they were early and i didnt cos i was late.

damn.

was suppose to do library cip with lok-ge today but there were too many other people piaing cip hours there too plus no librarian was free to show us around. in the end a wasted trip to je :(

well not too wasted.

i think i blew kahlok away with my parapara skills. HEE.

ugh, mrs kan (surprisingly) remembers the commonwealth essay me and marcus were supposed to do during the hols, which obviously neither of us has done. the deadline's monday *sobs*

why now, when all my brain juices has evaporated.

sigh. i've wrote for the commonwealth essay for 3years already and i haven't even get something of a commendation. why do they still bother asking me?

all i can churn out is angst stuff anyway, not those happy-happy fairytale endings the judges are trying to find.

ok im going to mope.

i write better when im depressed.

gotta go find my emo switch again-

ooh this will help. s triple a race next saturday.


warning: read only if you think you can handle emo cm on new year's day.

please choose between reading the happy-neutral new year day post (below) or the emo/depressed/cynical post you're about to read.

i am not responsible for change of moods.

2oo6 is gone, or more like flew by me, and here i am. sitting in front of the com with math and chem project not done. can i just tell the teachers i've suffered brain damage from rotting in front of the com for too long?

yes, though i hate to admit it, 2oo6 is already over. 2oo7 comes along bringing even more situations that are high on my worry list.

a new year, a new beginning?

optimism should burn.

oh wait. i think it already died under some rock when the clock struck twelve last night.

another year, add another candle to my birthday cake please. so im sixteen in about a month's time? sec 4. god i feel old.

last year in river valley, last year in athletics, last year to be a secondary school student, last year for nearly everything.

dammit p6 sucked, so sec4 has to be tons worse.

im not even back at school yet and already im telling myself to revise.

shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit-

2oo7: cm version 2.o emo shall rule.

to be honest, i hate new year. cos its just a reminder of everything to come.

and i usually spend it finishing my homework.

whoopee- school already has a hold on me before i even step back into it.

will i still have time to think of other things?

will you still stay by my side?

im afraid i'll be the one who gives up.

i cant smash the bottle anymore.
just let me keep things inside it for this year.

where's that mask? dammit i need it back.

oh yes by the way, call me a coward if you want.

i dont care anymore.



happy-neutral new year post!

this morning i checked my phone's calender.

i saw this: 1 Jan 2oo7

my eyes snapped open too fast and then they hurt for about 2omins.

so as everybody knows, its 2oo7! (if you dont, you've been living under a rock and your name's patrick starr)

ok lowdown on last night's countdown:

i spent the entire day on my couch (much like cleopatra) reading my book seven ancient wonders by my favvvvvvvv author of all time, matthew reilly!

ok so its not much of an acheivement.

at around 6, i went dinner with my parents before proceeding to dhoby gaut to meet the others.

my heart was like going: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MY FIRST COUNTDOWN OUTSIDE OF TELOK BLANGAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes i know im pathetic. thats what you get when you have an overprotective father. ugh!

anyways, ningxin called me and was going: where the hell are you?!

of course i shouted something back around the same vulgar-ness and then suddenly i saw leena walking towards me on the other side of the glass door. nice. oh and ningxin slams the phone on her thigh giving me her damn-you-moron look :D

well i guess its the look she always gives me haha!

so the 3 of us met up and soon we went on a tedious, back breaking, moronic quest to find the others (weekiat+sec2 girls+yip choon but i didnt know choon-ge was there yet)

dhoby gaut SUCKS as a meeting place cos there are so many exits/entrances and escalators and stairs and levels and etc etc useless things.

when the 3 of us finally found them, i felt like some RPG character finishing the last level of the quest LOL

and yesterday was the day i was enlightened: yip choon has a lame (but still funny) sense of humour. or as weekiat calls it: he's full of shit.

oh and both their english sucks. with a capital S-U-C-K-S.

mocha becomes moocher, butler becomes bucher. i mean seriously, BUCHER??????

i nearly threw myself onto the mrt tracks.

fast forward>>>

the sec2 girls left for gombak cos coach L could only stay around that area (i seriously dont know) so only me, ningxin, leena, weekiat and choon-ge were left to go to NHM.

NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM! to think i was spending my first countdown in a museum. freaking cool can!?

oh and i met the legendary yeowann! haha! highlight of the night :)

but he's a little.. shorter/boyish than i expected heehee. like weekiat??

oops.

we went to the 2nd level for the fireworks and to be honest, until everyone went 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!! i really didnt know it was already midnight. haha! im totally lost without tea.

later while everyone proceeded to gombak i left for home (protective father in work again..)

as peishi calls it, went home to K.O

kinda disappointed didnt get to spend time with them at gombak but hey, what to do.

hmm reading back, seems my countdown was a little stagnant (thats what weekiat calls it)

but when i saw who i was with, i didnt feel that way at all. i guess its the people you're with, not the atmosphere or where you are that counts.

so thanks to peishi, ningxin, leena, choon-ge and weekiat for giving me a fab 1st countdown experience :)

abit sad other fexii members and athletics peeps werent there but well, cant fight fate can we?


and so 2oo6 leaves us withbeautiful memories and great experiences, while 2oo7 awaits with new challenges and more memories to be built.


Joke of the day:
cm: (to yip choon) i finally remember your surname, mr ho!
yc: really? cos christmas right?
cm: huh? why?
yc: cos ho, ho, ho ma.
cm: *rolling on the floor*