! ☎ ✏ ✈

i just.. i can't stop crying. i feel so fucked up right now.

(it isn't because of posting results, and no i'm not trying to gain your sympathy. no this is not reverse psychology. seriously. if you think that why, then fine by me, go ahead and think i'm a selfish little bitch.)

i hate to disappoint myself, but when you measure it up against disappointing others, the latter.. always hurts more than the former..

all i can say is sorry, which does nothing to alleviate the pain.

and suddenly, as everything drifts away,
all you can do is stand aside,
and wave goodbye...

the ultimate defiance of fate;
i wonder if i can ever reach this pinnacle..